Poisoned Memories
by PichuInTheSky
Summary: some things shouldn't have happened, but they did, and now the consequence leaves an all-too big scar.


**Hello, reader/s!**

 **This is my first FF post in a really,** ** _really_** **long time, so pardon me if it's a bit weak; my creative writing skills have gotten quite rusty.**

 **This is basically a short drabble/fic/one-shot fan fiction for Katekyo Hitman Reborn, a manga I finished recently. It was pretty good, but I didn't really like how the author ended the story with a few loose ends left untied. One in particular that peeved me was the fact that the issue with Gokudera Hayato and his sister Bianchi was left unresolved. So, as far as I know- which is as far as the story tells- he STILL can't look at her face without instantly getting ill. After everything they've been through, this stupid problem still remains? Seriously?**

 **So I wrote a short drabble about it. It's basically a long train of though from Gokudera's POV. Enjoy, R &R, etc.**

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I haven't seen my sister's face in over a decade now.

It's not that she isn't around, though. No, she's always there, whenever I go over to the 10th's place, which is pretty much every day. But I don't _see_ her.

I make sure not to.

Because every single time, the moment my eyes take in even the tiniest peek of her uncovered face, the nausea hits my gut like a sledgehammer, twisting my insides and the next thing I know I'm doubled over- if not lying flat out on the floor unconscious- retching and gagging uncontrollably; as though her poison is already running through my veins.

The reaction is always instant and spontaneous, and it never changes. It's as though every fibre of my being is spontaneously rejecting her, to the point where my digestive system spasms at the mere sight of her face; because of the memories it triggers. I can't control it, no matter how hard I try; my reaction to her is too firmly rooted in my system, all thanks to our damned childhood.

I know it isn't Bianchi's fault. It's not her fault she cooks the way she does; not her fault our father forced me to eat her Poison Cooking as a kid- all for the sake of something as petty as a goddamn piano recital. It's _him_ I should hate, not Bianchi. But hating the past doesn't change the present fact that I can't look at my own sister's face without being too ill to stand upright.

It hurts _her_ too. Despite her calm, serene behaviour, I know what she thinks of me. She thinks I hate her, because of what she had to do to me as a child; and because she's the legitimate offspring of the family and I'm the bastard son. But I don't hate her, least of all for our shitty family history- I just can't look at her. And it's not her fault.

I don't blame Bianchi for thinking I hate her. All I can do is avoid her- hiding, running, ducking away, as though she's a plague; while all the while knowing neither of us is to blame. Which always makes me feel even worse about my actions. Hell, even having to face the other way when we're in the same room gives me a twang of guilt.

At times like this, when Bianchi and I are in the same vicinity, like at the 10th's or something, she always treats me kindly, as though there's no bad blood between us. But even though she addresses me sweetly, treating me like a normal big sister should, I can hear the sadness in her voice clear as day- because she knows her gentle words and actions will be answered only by stark avoidance. Which, pitifully enough, is all I can do- run away as fast as I can.

And I know how much it must hurt her, to be treated like a plague by her own little brother; for the sight of her own face literally being a cause of his pain.

But she never says anything about it, and neither do I. The things that lie between us are better just accepted, as they always have been.

Admittedly, during our stay in Japan, there's a lot less tension between us; now, we can at least interact somewhat normally. But yet, after all this time, despite everything all of us in the 10th Generation Vongola Mafia family have been through- from assassination attempts to alien curses* to even time travel- I still can't look at my sister's face.

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 ***To those of you who have only watched the anime, this is a reference to the Arcobaleno arc, which was manga-only.**

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 _This has been posted by MyCasketBetterBeBlack with prior permission from PichuInTheSky_


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